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ConSensual

Episode · 8 months ago

Welcome to Niagara

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Cleo signs on the dotted line and heads north to be the star of the show. Little does she know, Hot Elevator Guy will make more than a few appearances himself.

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Welcome back consensual lovers, ourlong awaited season to has finally landed. If you want us to keep the lovestories coming, let us know by dropping us a review wherever you get yourpodcasts and sharing this season with a friend. It helps us a ton. You canfollow us on Instagram at Consensual Pod, and did you know you can watchthis love story play out on your instagram feed to follow at the CleoWalker and at Dean of nyc to peek into the lives of our protagonists from themeet cute to the? Happily ever after anyway enough Chitchak, here's hook upstate of mind. I want to play with the tablet. I lookup from my phone to see two little Brown eyes blinking at me from acrossthe white marble. COUNTERTOP no tablet at the dinner table Brady. You knowthat our gesture toward the untouched plate of peas and chicken nuggets hetalked me into making, instead of the bull of Kenawa, his mom leftinstructions for eat up buttercup Brady crinkles hisnose at me and gives the play a push across the counter upon closerinspection. Each of the five nuggets has a single bite taken out of it. Thepile of peas, on the other hand, he's ignored altogether Aheva sigh, resisting the urge to flicka pea at Brady's, tiny blondhead. Would you rather I made you the kinowabal hisface turns from cabbage patch kid to sour patch kid. I don't want dinner. Iwant to play with the tablet. It's moments like these that make megrateful that I'm a nanny, not a mom as far as survival jobs go getting paid tohang out with the seven year old son of a hotel mogul in their fancy. ManhattanBrown Stone Beats Retail any day of the week, but having him on loane nine tofive. That's more than enough kid time. For me, the best cure for baby fever isknowing those Pudgy cheeked cuties grow into stubborn. Second craters, whowon't eat their dinner, I planned a hand on my hip. You beggedme to make nuggets now, you're, not even going to finish them. He shakeshis head. His sunny blond hair flying into his eyes, they're good, when mybrother makes them you do it wrong, leave it to Braidy mcdaniel to havediscerning taste in chicken nuggets. His Mom Helen took macdaniel hotelsinternational when he was only two meaning he's probably had nuggets frommore countries than I'll visit in my lifetime. I turn my attention back tomy phone. Relenting fine skip the nuckets, but the peas arenon negotiable. His little mouth forms a line. What's that mean it means thatwe're not going to your dads until you finish them thirty minutes until I'msupposed to have him fed, packed and dropped off at his dad's on the otherside of Central Park. This is not the time for picky eating Bradie rolles hiseyes at me as I pushe the plate back towards him. Watch the SASPE or I'll make you leavethe tablet here. What if I read on the tablet, while I eat but like I did likeI did this morning, he tries out his best set of puppy dog eys, but thosedon't work on me. Not after the two years. I've had to develop immunityagainst them. Naah I saw you playing angry birds onit earlier you're, not as sneaky as you think, plus your mom and Stepdad saidonly thirty minutes of screentime. Today. Part of me wonders why theybought the kid a tablet in the first place, if they don't want him playingwith it, but I'm not a parent, and if I were-and I have the kind of money Hellen mcdaniell has. My son would probablysleep on a bedmade out of tablets, so I have no room to talk Brady jets out his lower lip, but yourplan on your phone shit good point. I click the power button on the sideand the screen turns black in the name of setting a good example, my phoneusually stays in my purse, while I'm Nannying, but today is different andI'm not launching animated birds at stacks of Pigs. I'm refreshing my inboxover and over hoping the casting email. I've been waiting for all day willappear, which honestly might be just as much of a waste of time. I set my phone screenside down on thecounter, I'm not playing on my phone Brady, I'mwaiting for an important email, his eyes widen half an inch for medy. Theonly thing that Interests Brady more than a screen is the idea of me beingon one probably a side effect of all the Times.I've made him watch red carpet coverage with me. The kid is a fiend for allthings: Hollywood glamor now and is constantly asking me what I'm going tobe in next more than my parents. Even I don't have the courage to tell himthat the last big thing I booked was a cottage cheese commercial, which wasnational by the way Anne paid my rent...

...for two and a half months. It's not a movie, it's a mini serieslike a TV show, but the episodes are shorter about what Niagara Falls sortof the people who live around it. I guess can I watch it. Please, let's seeif I get it first: Okay, YOU'RE gonna get it. He says it's so matter offactly folding his pale little arms over his chest, like a tiny businessman,considering a tiny business deal, you'll get the bar because you'rereally really Gein your really ard worker and you're really nice. Histhinking face fades into a big goony smile showing off the space where hisfront teeth used to be even the most frustrating doblins canbe cute. Sometimes well, thanks be we'll, have to wait andsee. I Jup my Chin towards his plate. Now pease make hem disappear, big guy.He rolls his eyes again and now I'm starting to worry that he picked thatup from me. My brother never makes me eat peace, ohgood, we're back to this! I rest my elbows on the counterbalancing my Chin in my hands. Well, when your brother makes youdinner, then you can blame by his rules. We're in a standoff my brown eyeslocked with his a stand off. I ultimately lose when my phone buzzes onthe counter and I snatch it up breaking eye contact, one new email. This is it. I swipe mythumb across the screen holding my breath. As I read the subject, line fall, super sale, all candles, fortypercent off Christ. I hit the UNSUBSCRIBE butto outof spite. Did you get it? The excitement in his voice only addsinsult to injury. No, that was something else. I set myphone down again. Tugging the flannel tighter ound, my waist a little tighter. Are you going to get to go on a Redcard bit? I don't know be if you do get get Gan I come with. I adjust myflannel for a second time and shoot Brady a drop. It look, but my attitudeshifts when I see the hope in his eyes: Yes he's a seven year old and thereforeannoying tby definition, but he's also my number one fan and debatably my bestfriend in this city. Now that Ingrid is traveling so much juries out on whether that's cute orsad, all right I'll make you a deal. I restmy forearms on the counter slouching, so that Brady- and I are I to eye if you eat your peace and I get thispart and if, for some reason I get to walk a red carpet for it, you can comewith me. I hardly finished the offer before Brady scoops up a pile of peasand drops them into his mouth, sending a few tumbling across the floor andunder the oven after some ferocious chewing. He sticks out his tongue within ethey're all gone nicely done, but you still have half aplate to go little man can I have butter on them sure? Why not? I had forthe fridge to dig up whatever bullshit healthy butter substitute hell in keepsaround, but the buzz of my phone on the counter makes me backtrack.Unfortunately, Brady's grubby nugget fingers are quicker on the draw than Iam. He grabs the phone and squints at the screen tilting his head as hesounds out the words a NI gain, I put out a hand expectantly curling myfingers in the givet motion. He plops it in my palm I'm braced for anotherstupid candle email, but one look at the subject line staring back at me andI nearly dropped my phone on the kitchen floor, Niagara contractindscript. Oh my God, the sound I make fall somewhere betweena gasp in a squeal. This is it the medium size break. I've been waitingfor for once, I'm acting in something that people actually view forentertainment, not just the commercials that interrupt the thing you're tryingto watch, I'm the main event. Finally, all I have to do is sign on the dottedline. Oh Oh, my God, I got it. You got it. Brady echoes me with a screech and thenthrows his hands in the air knocking his plate and sending nuggets and theremainder of his peas flying across the kitchen. I don't even care. I booked itmy first job in months it's a freaking Webflix series. I read through the first few lines ofthe email, getting the gist of the filming schedule and the location myeyes finally landing on the Pay Holy Crap. That's an entire year of studentloan payments. I I got it. I've really got it. Brady is stilltossing peas around and flailing and...

...shrieking for my attention, but I can'ttake my eyes off the character description for the role Carmen atwenty, something employee at NiagaraFalls Visitor Center with a love interest who works across the CanadianBorder Very Romeo and Juliet I've never been O Juliat before at BestI've been Juliet's nurse the side character who doesn't get much of astory other than advancing the engenous plot day. One of my BFA program, myadvisor, looked me in the eye and spelled it out for me my natciescharacter parts funny fat girl, Roles, best case scenario: Somebody writes afat character who actually has a sex life and it's meant to be some kind ofjoke. H Too Funny America can all laugh together, because a woman larger than asize six has a Libito Olways, the Paulette, never the lwoods,but reading through Thi script, that's not the VIBE I'm getting. I don't even think this role waswritten with a plus sized person in mind, but that's who they cast. That's whothey want me am. My Sigh seems to have nothing to do with it. Sweet Jesus is everything all right inhere. It must have been a slow day at the mcdaniel hotels office, or I'vebeen looking at this email way longer than I thought, because Brady's mom ishome. Much sooner than I expected. She looks a little displeased with the messgiving a smattering of peas, a kick and clearing a path for her nude pumps,which are probably worth more than I make it a month. Just a little accident.I can clean it up. Claa's gonna BE ONTV, Brady hops, down from his Stoel andpinches a few peas off the ground before tossing them into the air likeConfetti Helen, who seemed shockingly unfased by her son's behavior lifts aperfectly pencilled in eyebrow. In my direction yeah I just got wore that Ibooked a webflix series. I try to maintain some semblance of calm as Igestured to the email on my phone screen, but how can I fake any ounce ofchill when, after years of doing more nannying than acting, I just booked oneof the largest streaming platforms in the world? That's big news: Is it local? The ridiculous amount ofupspeak in that question is a clear indication of what she's really asking.Oh? Are you still going to be able to watch my kid? My excited smile fades into more of anervous cringe. It films on site at Niagara Fallsactually, but just for a week at the end of the month, I'm sure I can find asub to watch brady. Her scrunched features loosen as much as her botoxswill allow. Our marketing offices are in Buffalo, just a quick drive fromNiagara Lots of good looking man in that department too. Maybe I could arrange your dinner gagefor you, while you're there might be nice to have some company. I forced asmile internalizing, my scream. This is easily the Hundreth Time Helenhas tried to, but into my dating life or set me up with some cousins friendor whatever. She seems to think the fact that I'm twenty, eight and singlemeans I'm a desperate spinster seeking any kind of male companionship. I pull all the companionship. I need.Thank you very much sure they're. Not all winners. Just ask my last stint inhis sketchy condom policies, but the occasional fucking run suits me a wholelot better than being divorced by now time to steer the conversation back tomy job. I can put feelers out to a few friendsto see if anyone could fill in for me that week no need I'll. Just have Terrycall off work. Terry is Helen's. Second husband, Brady's Stepdad. I've never had the privilege of meetingthe guy, but if he's anything like Brady's Dad husben number one he's halfsweetheart half sleeve'sbag from what I understand. Marriage number one endedbecause husband number one was fucking nanny number one. For that reason, myMo as nanny number two has been to keep a safe distance from anyone in thisfamily. I'm not paid to supervise so far so good. I offered to clean up thejolly green giant murder scene and drop Brady at his dad's. Before I go, butHelen waves it off like it's nothing firing up the robout vacuum instead,while insisting she can call Brady and Uber. I question the safety of throwingyour child in the back of a stranger's car, but I'm the nanny, not the MOM, soinstead I go desperately searching for my dignity after the one do punchreminder that my job can be done by a cleaning robot in a ride. SharingService Helen Pulls Oun her phone to pay me. Let me know about thosemarketing boys, though I know it's nice to have a friendly face, especially ahandsome one. If you know what I mean someone to show you around, she shootsme a wink that makes me feel grimy to say the least thanks, but I can hold myown, I'm hoping she reads between the...

...lions and catches, the polite versionof back the fuck off in my tone. If I need a so called friendly face, thereare plenty of men waiting on APSMENT, specifically for filling that role. A seccer and smile spreads across herlips. Well, I guess you always have been a brave one. That word sits in mystomach, like a piece of gravel brave if she weren't about to send two weekspay. My Way, I would ask her, which part of my work made me so courageous,the part where I'm a woman going to a different city without a mansupervising me or the part where I'm trying to build a career as an actorwithout carving on a Thag gap, but my phone buzzes in my handconfirming the mobile transfer. So I shoot her a tight lipd smile thank herand I'm out the door as I leaped down the stairs two at atime. My thumb wavers between my context, trying to decide who to call.First with the good news I make the obvious right choice and Ingrad picksup after just two rings: Hello, I put the IAGER, dig the words tumble out soquickly that only my best friend would be able to understand them. OfcourseherShriek is loud enough that I have to pull my phone back from my ear. I just got the email while I waswatching Brady, so I had to wait a second to call you, but I'm leavingwork now and I got it okay. I hate that Brady new this before me. I huff hopingshe can hear my Ey roll through the phone. I didn't call you so you could bejealous of a literal child. Suddenly, her voice is muffled and it doesn'tsound directed at me anymore. I'm here Soryi'm working remotely inPittsburgh this week and had to brack to Kno about how you're going to be aWebflix Star. We get the whole tell Noah. I say: Hi Hi back stick out of the way, as I stepback out onto Parkav, I habitually float one hand up to plug the ear thatisn't pressed against my phone, trying to drown out the sound of Rushourtraffic, IIEI'M GNSA bottle of Champagne. Okay, just don't share itwith your new best friend breed. I promise not to share champagne withthe seven year old, but thank you. I will probably drink the whole bottle bymyself. While watching a star is born good. You deserve it. Okay, getting onthe subway, now got a baance. Can I call you later when I'm looking troughthe script? The line is quiet for a second and I thumb up the volume on myphone in case the carhorns are drowning her out. Sorry did you say something?No, but no, and I are actually getting sushi tonight. They just opened up anew place down the block tax. ME, though, okay, my stomach flops in a waythat I'm embarrassed to admit I shouldn't feel jealous of Noah, justlike ingeradge shouldn't feel jealous of a greasy fingered kid, but now that ingrid has noah. I have toshare, and I know that's life somehow I managed to swallow. My Jealousy, ofcourse, have fun thanks for picking up. I love you get a Srim tempor role forme, O andsome, miso soup done and done, ohone, more thing, thou, dry or brucedry, or what dry or brute champagne dummy. I toldyou, I'm ordering you some. You have to drink to the biggest Gik of your career.So far, it's the biggest Gik of my career. So far, the mcdaniel Niagara, hotel andconvention center is an enormous expanse of white white, tile white rugsand white leather couches. Each one dotted with white men in black suitslike some twisted game of Corporate Dominos, I'm standing dumbfounded justinside the revolving door, blinking at the buzzing crowd of America's onepercent. Did I miss the dress, clode Mama, or is this hotel holding theannual men's Warehouse Convention? If my life wore a movie, I know how thiswould play out enter big girl in the electric, pink windbreaker to therecord scratch his time stops and everyone's head snapp to stare at theWeirdo. But here in reality, no one so much aslooks my way. They're all two wrapped up in whatever super important emailsare pouring into their super important cell phones. I scan the lobby lookingfor anyone. I might recognize from the call back or anyone who just looks likethey don't work on Wall Street. Any confirmation that I'm in the rightplace would be fantastic, but no dice, I'm the only one around who isn'tliving up to the business casual dress code, not that anyone other than meseems to be noticing that or noticing me at all en you're a big girl in just about anypublic location. You're one of two things a spectacle or a wall flower.Today, it's Wallflower at least for now.

I fish out my phone to triple check thehotel conformation in my imbox. The blank screen reminds me that thisprehistoric thing has no battery life and died on me in the UBR stupid, planned obs tolescence. I guessI'm going up to the front desk maneuvering past the concierge. I takemy place in line behind a group of nearly identical women with lowshenions and skin tight pencil skirts. I have to buy my lip to keep fromlaughing at how they walk like penguins with absolutely no range of motion.Luckily, the line shifts quickly and it's not long before the pencil skirtsare waddling away and the desk attendant is waving me up checking infor Walker. The statement comes off more like a question than I intended,but honestly, God knows, if I'm in the system, while his fingers fly acrossthe keyboard, I shrug off my windbreaker tying it extra tight around my waist. Is it hot in here or is it just the crippling amount ofimpuster syndrome? coursing through my veins? Are you here for the conference?The attendant looks up from the screen, giving me a quick onceover with thecritical eye of a project runway judge I get it I'm under dressed. No, I'mhere for a film shoot. I pull my id out of my wallet and Nudg it across thecounter. Am I in the right spot right right? Yes, that is here too he smilesapologetically, as he verifies the name on the license. I've got a lothappening here this week. Everyone wants to come Toniagra in the fall. Iguess thit's why they call it the Falls Huh. I tanke a pity laugh, which is a lotmore than he deserves, but the relief of knowing I'm in the right place hasme feeling a bit more generous than usual a few rapid fire mouths clicks.Later. I've got two key cards: A generic hotel pamphlet and a fulllowdown on how late the hotel bar is open. Everything a girl could need withthat. I make off toward the elevators day dreaming about the long hot showerI'm going to take. I need to scrub the airplane off of me and maybe change into something that'llhelp me blend in with all these mid career minions. Speaking of when I turned down the hall,one of those minions is mashing. The elevator call button as thoughimpatience will make it come quicker from a distance. He looks just likeevery other guy in the lobby. Nice sut wing tips a watch that probably costsfour times my rent, but when I get closer, there's something about himthat my eyes can't quite pass up he's handsome Du, but he doesn't quite fitthe generic corporate flunky casting call that the rest of the hotel seemsto be hosting Thi stuble creeping along. His jaw line is just a little bit tooroguish for a corporate event. His Carmel Blond hair, while styled back,is the tiniest bit tossled like he was speeding down the highway with thewindows down, and let me tell you with the way his biceps flex beneath hissuit jacket, as he runs one hand through his hair. I certainly wouldn'tmind wriding shot gun, I'm still a few steps away when theelevator dings open and he disappears inside hold it. Please would suit caseintol. I jobbed the last stretch of the hallway to the Elevator Bay thankful tofind my finest fuck elevator made holding the door open with oneoutstretched arm, Palk bout that with MNCAES. Thank you.I know I cut myself off realizing he's on a call. Then mouth thwords, my badas he shoots me. A tight lipped smile and steps out of the way of theelevator buttons. A different floor is already lit up, confirming what I wasafraid of. Elevator Hauty and I are not headed to the same place and thereforealmost definitely not at this hotel. For the same reason as if thatexpensive suit did it make that abundantly clear which his arms look sofucking good in by the way part of me wants to pretend him going whereverhe's going, but in favor of not being accused of stacking Ivito. That ideafor an easier one checking him out with some side eye. I fidget with mywindbreaker tightening and loosening it around my waist in an effort to lookoccupied instead of blatantly staring at him. If my phone weren't dead, I'd,probably try to grab a creep shot of him to send to Ingrd later something wealways do whenever we spot a hawk Ey in the wild, I have an entire album of hotsubway riders from her some where they're. In the background of a fakedSelfie and more than a few full on blurs from the time, she's accidentallyleft her flash on and tried to hide her crime. It sounds creepier than it is. Sadly, the only image I'll be gettingof hot elevator guy is a mental one, so I better soak it in. While I can, I letmy eyes linger on his broad shoulders before trailing down the ridge of hisbystep neatly outlined by his fitted...

...suit jacket. Then he looks my way and that tightlipped granite turns into a full on smile shit. He caught me steering sounds good I'lltouch base with you later. He rattles the words off into his phone. A littlequicker than sounds natural then ends the call and turns toward me his coffee,colored eyes, locking with Mine, love the jacket thanks. I tighten the knotaround my waist, hoping it'll hold his attention there. I got it thrift inWilliamsburg, like three years ago, hot elevator, Guy Brighton's, no shit. Ilive in the East Village Yeah I'm in Harlem Colombia, Student Columbia, GradI studied theater at Barnard and that awful bitch sally may won't. Let meforget it: My go to student loans. Joke earns me a laugh like it has the otherdozen times. I've used it. What surprises me, though, is the Tingleyfeeling inching up the arches of my feet at the sound of his low throaty,chuckle ha and funny the man ditches any attempt of subtletyas his eyes sweep over me head to to. Maybe I should make it up to Harlem.More often before I can muster an equally clever reply, the elevatorslows to a halt the doors opening to let my hot co rider out and if I thought his arms looked goodin his suit. It's only because I hadn't seen his butt. Yet Christ, this mandoes not skip a leg day. I wonder if he could squap me. I better yet hip thrust me, please, Anne! Thank you at the lastsecond. He calls over his shoulder I'll, so you round and as doubtful as that isI can't help, but to call back, I sure hope. So he gives me a two finger waveas the doors sink closed, my view of him shrinking into gradually smallerslivers until he disappears altogether good, bye, sexy stranger, my vibrator-and I will remember you later- The elevator surges back to life.Whisking me up to the thirty second floor, which immediately feels morelike home than the lobby. The low buzzing chatter of mice levelsand wardrobe adjustments is in instant, shot a Dopemin to the head. I've hardly cleared the elevator doorswhen I'm greeted by a perky guy, dressed in all black, a Niagara hardcard dangling from a lanyard around his neck. You must be Cleo Iam, a Kim theproduction assistant hope the conference thent, throw you off toomuch only a little. I tuck my hotel brocheres into my armpit and shake hishand. Then the hands of the director, the Wardrobe Guy, a pair of producers,enjoy a petitue blond actress who will be playing. My coworker at the NiagaraFalls Visitor Center. Don't worry everyone's names roles and numbersareound here Hakin hands over a deep black folder with the Teal Niagara logoprinted across the front, there's also a prin out of a filming schedule,calltimes and locations in there and your credentials, which will get youaccess to craft services, but that starts tomorrow. Dinner is on your owntonight, but just expense it to the room or save the receipt. So we canreimburse you sound good before I can answer the elevator dings behind me andHakim's eyes, light up with recognition, great timing, eveeen. This is Cleoshe's playing your love interest. Some synaps in my brain must be out of orderbecause try, as I made a turn around, I just stand there frozen like a completedumbass could even be the guy from the elevator. It's unlikely, but as long asI don't turn around, he remains shrodengers actor, not hot elevator guyand not not hot elevator guy. If I don't look I'll, never have to know until tomorrow, when we're on set- andwe have to make out with each other, so I guess we should get the Banda toripped off. Now I suck in a deep breath throll myshoulders back and turned on my heels, my eyes, locking with a dark haired guyin a New York met, shirt and a pair of joggers. I can't decide if I'mdisappointed or relieved. I say this in the kindest way possibleEvan looks like every guy in Bushwick trying to make it as an actor he's gotmaybe three inches on my five six frame medium build his cropped, dark, hairtoo short to do much with other than comb it back. If my memory serves me,his character is a Community College Baseball Player who works at a casinoon the Canadian side of Niagara Major hot but broke vibes. I'd say thecasting director hit the nail on the head, so your clea Evan sizes me up frombehind his clear frame, glasses sure I am nice to meet you for sure. We stand there in silence for a secondthe conversation having fallen dead on the ground in front of his Niges for anactor Evan isn't much of a talker. I use my Niagara Folder to gesture downthe hall. I'm GOINGNA GO SCOPE OUT my room. Maybewe we can run lines later tonight for...

...sure hm there's that same flat, vocal Fri. I've got a real charmer on my hands. OhJoy come here Evan. This is our other female lead, Hakem Waves, joy over andthe glazed look in Evans eyes, brightens into ont of interest.Ahfigures. I guess that's my cute, a piece out after thinking hakeyand waving goodbyeto the rest of the team. I head down the hall to room Thrty, udred and sixtyeight home sweet home for the next six nights. It's definitely more fancy than I'mused to a queen bed with a fluffy white, Duve and elegant, Plum curtains toblock out the sun in the morning plus a mini fridge bless it's a far cry fromthe three bedroom I share with two roommates and one of their everlingering girlfriends. That's for sure, just knowing I'll have my own bathroomfor the week is a borderline turn on, but what I'm not used to is this levelof silence in the room. I live with an opera singer and a cellistcomparatively this feels. Like a Goddamn ANACOIC Chamber, I dropped my pile of paperwork on theDresser and slip my key card into my wallet before making a be line for thebathroom cranking, the shower Knob, as far as it goes until the Hollywood sylmirror fogs over with steam one extra long shower later, I'm cosiedup in the Terry Cloth Rod provided by the hotel, muttering my lines to myself,while flipping through the materials in the folder Hakin gave me according to the schedule, will bedoing. The bulk of our filming at the Niagara Falls Visitor Center, which isonly about a five minute drive from the hotel, meaning that the next time I seeany of my cassmates it'll probably be in the back of a shared oover tomorrowmorning. Damn for a moment, I consider the list ofcasting crew phone numbers but end up tucking. It back into the folder it'd,be weird to text one of them and ask if they want to do dinner together right.But what are my other options? I'm Goinna go completely strir crazy. If Ijust sit here alone for the next five hours until I fall asleep, I reach formy phone and open the APP store. Maybe Helen was right. I need company, whileI'm here, just not quite the wining and dining kind. She suggested cerialdating AP teleter that I am Otto complete, fills in exactly what I want.After only typing the letter t into the search bar all right. I get it it's thethird time this month that I've redownloaded the stupid tinder AP, butit's empowering to delete it. Get that garbage off my phone. I don't give afuck about dating or men or anyone's approval, and then inevitably I'm in asituation like this and I com crawling back again. It doesn't take more than a few secondsto reactivate my account. Everything is still here: the choice. Six picturesconsisting of a few selpies, my actor, had shot and a picture of Ingrid and meat our favorite branch spot. To prove that I have friends. My Bio has stayedthe same for two years now: Actor Nanny Mabos a drinker. I never understood thepeople on here with paragraph long BIOS. We all know why we're here and it'ssure shit not to get to know each other, not unless we're talking biblically next up preferencees. I change mysettings to only include guys within a one mile radius. No one is trying to gofor a hike here. My previous age, prameters of forty to fifty five, isevidence of my brief stint seeking a sugar daddy shortly after the lastbreakup. A fruit listened ever much. To my dismay, I adjust the range to twentyfive to thirty five before hitting safe, then close out of the APP and hook bothmy phone and my vibrator up to their respective chargers, I'll get dressedorder, some takeout and wait for a few matches to accumuliate. Maybe I'll, getlucky and run into e castmate on my way to meet my delivery guy. But if notfuck, it Ol bring my food back up here, swipe to my heart's content and get offa few times to whatever fantasy starring hot elevator guy. I can drinkof his getting stuck in an elevator withhim, too predictable, because that imaginary Porno prettoy much rightsitself, hey guys. It's back a here fromconsensual cockbalking, are regular romance programming with a quickmessage from our friends at early to bed, whether your booed up or totallysingle, I'm just saying you deserve a new vibrator any and every sex toilyou'd ever want. You can find it at early to bed quit giving Jeff Basosyour money and support this queer friendly woman owned Chicago based sackshop that has guaranteed the world better Saxons, two thousand and onethat's twenty years of Orgasms, with an extensive collection of curated toys tochoose from this feminise sax shop aims to be accessible to adults of allgenders orientations, experience, levels and relationship, statuses, yeahsisters are doing it for themselves,...

...find them on instagram at early to bed.That's the number two and online at early to bedcom. Again, that's thenumber two fast discreet shipping check top notch customer service double checkfounded on the kind of feminist sex positivity that we're all about. Do youeven have to ask all right all right? Let's get back to Cleo and deen catch,you later Master Raders, my screen, grays, with the graphic of aradar, presumably scanning the area for available women back home. I'd sooner run out of swipesthan run out of options, you'd think with a thousand or sopeople in town for this conference. I'd have a little more luck. Instead, the only notifications I'mgetting are work e mails. So I fixe my gaze on the backlitbottles of liquor lining the shelves of the Hotel Bar. I quit attending these conferences whenI realized that the days off arenit worth the shit ton of work waiting forme when I return, but this past year I nabbed a spot onthe thirty under thirty list, barely squeaking by at twenty nine years young, then my imbox turned into a breedingground for invite to speak at these kinds of things, because prestige orwhatever, while I've turned down most of them, it'd be a pretty Dick move, not to speak at the conference. My own company ishosting DOUBLEIPA. The bartender looks expectantly between me and mycolleagues until one of the social media interns brought along to livetweet the weekend, sheepishly steps forward to claim it hi a that's me andthe Mohido I lived to hand motioning the drink over Peares, our golden boy,a hand claps. My shoulder, and I turned to find one of our developers, todstanding behind me with an empty glass in one hand and a wat of cash in theother. His smile practically falls off his face. What doyou say shots on me,tha celebrate the panel and all seven years ago. I would have gladly acceptedhis offer. I would have slapped odd on the back and we would have downe doubleshots of Jack until we passed out or worse until we convinced some veryunlucky, ladies to stumble back to our hotel rooms, where we couldn't get hardand then blames them for it. Things have changed since then. I'vechanged, probably shouldn't. I give my Mohito aswirl, so the ice clinks against the sides of the glass come on man, don't be a pussy one, shotwon't kill you, I'm good tod and by the looks of it. So are you I keep my voice even and measured, butthe Hars in the back of my neck are to Bristle. This is the kind of AlphaBullshit I'm trying to avoid these days, todd snorts and turns away to searchfor a more willing accomplice. I watch, as each woman in a ten footradius turns him down one by one until he retreats to the end of the bar, likea huffy little toddler who didn't get his way. Something tells me he's destined fordatnight with his minny bar and I'd be willing to bet good money that tomorrowmorning he shows up late, unshaven and smelling like Piss and Bourbon Great Look for the company. Turningback to my phone, I scroll past a picture of a pretty blond who lookslike every girl in the city. Herbaio is pretty standard lover oftacos and Margs. If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at mybest, followed by a few too many emoges for my taste pass. I swipe left to find a redhead with a almost identical Baio. Only with adifferent quote, and a few newemogees thrown in looks like it's going to be a long,boring trip. So are you going to be on your phone all night or what I look upto find my coworker Monica leaning on the bar next to me, okay coworker is cold. She was hired afew days before I was, and we've been neck and neck for years, working ourway up in the company we're kind of each other's day ones in this place. When she got married. A few summersback, I was one of the few coworkers who got an invite. It took us a whileto warm up to each other, but hey one particularly rough. Buy Out is enoughto bond. Even the most unlikely of friends just had an email to send. Ilockd my screen and set my phone down on the polished wood. She waves, thebartender over I forget, have you always worked this harder? If this allpart of the golden boy campaign, you're not ordering a drink right now, are youshe shrugs. WHENA Peltra, says to Kila is actually good for the baby. Make Hempop out with a full head of hair. Is...

...that something you want in a newborn?I've seen Antonio's baby pictures no way, I'm letting this great fruit exitmy womb. Looking like a tiny, angry old man, she orders a ginger ail with extraice. Shooting me a look that says happy now. What are you at now, like twentyweeks, Monica Groans running her hand along her belly? Twenty three, this little assholethinks it's funny to wake mommy up at three in the morning to show off hisKung Fu skills. I thought we weren't allowed to swearin front of the baby. It's my fucking Erl. I get to decide when to enforce it.I raised my hands in surrender and Monica laughs shaking her head. How long do we have to sit here beforeit's acceptable to leave Todd's cornered, a board, looking woman and istalking loudly about his plans to buy a second condo in the peak skills you're twenty three weeks pregnant? I'mshocked, you're here at all, you know what happens if you stop going to thesethings, it's bad enough that I'm a woman! Now I've got a bunk the size ofa basketball that won't let these fuckers forget it. She Jerks her Chinin Tod's direction. Fuckd tod, I draine the last of my Mohido Monica narrowsher eyes. I mean screw todd. I lean in directing my speech at her belly.Listen Little Ahol tod is what we call a bad dude, and sometimes he makes yourmom feel. Like Hmm, I mean crap, even though she's the best thing that'shappened to this company in the last century. She scoffs there's a reason you're onthat panel and not me my last name might have something to do with it. Heystop that the ECO initiative would be nothing without you and you know it.Lord knows his company was severely lacking on the Sustainability Front.You saw a problem and decided to do something about it. I don't know ifthrowing money at climate change. Research is really doing somethingabout it. You have money youre, giving it to the people who can come up withsolutions. That sounds like something to me. Tell that to todd tuck todd she smilesand then Berfhs placing her palm firmly on her chest. Whooh yeah, I'm out of here, don't mind any ofthese assholes talk you into getting wasted. You've got a big day to morrowshe hoists herself off the Barstool and starts walking towards the elevators.Thanks Mam, she flips me the bird beforedisappearing around the corner. Turning back to my phone, I reopened tinder andswipe quickly through a couple of nondescript faces. All I have to do is kill ten moreminutes here then it's just me my hotel bed and my notes for the upcoming panel. I keep swiping until I land on aprofile that makes me pause. My thumb hovering over the screen. A gorgeous laughing Brunette is smilingup at me and something about her feels oddly familiar Cleo as I scroll through her profile. Eachpicture makes me like her more she's, clearly confident and funny and sexy asHell God damn it. Where have? I seen this girl before I scrolled back to the top to read herbio actor, nanny, Mamosa, drinker,straightforward to the point: half jobs aside. I respect it. I swipe bright and wait for a matchnutification, but instead IAM greeted with a blurrypicture of three indistinguishable blond women seriously, not a match, fair enough. CLEO guess you'll remain amystery forever unless you haven't viewed my profileyet I'll. Hang on to that prayer for the rest of the night, with a wounded ego and an empty glass,I pocket my phone and decide to call it a night. Sending a half hearted saluteto my co workers. I'm about to slide off the bar stool when I feel a buzz. My pulse jumps. Maybe cleos come to hersenses and swiped right after all, but when I open my phone, I'm let downall over again. It's just a span, email from a men'sdress, sock subscription company. As I go through the infuriating steps tounsubscribe the bartender walks. By can I get you another Nah, I'm on my wayout what about you? Sweetheart? No thanks! I'm just waiting for mypostmates. Just like the pictures of the sexy tinder Brunette. The voice isvaguely familiar chipper, but with an edge like she's being ironic but you'retoo dumb to know what about curious. I turnd toward her my brain automatically coffs up ahandful of tired pickup lines, but I...

...tuck them away. It's a hotel bar for fucksake. Thesituation is sleezy enough as it is, but when my eyes land on the womansitting on the stool, just a few yards down the bar, my mouth goes dry plio. I might have been tinking it, butthere's no way that name came out of my mouth. I'm pretty sure. I'm about sevendrinks, away from shouting a woman's name at her from a mere ten feet away. She looks up and her eyes meet God, fucking, Damn She's, even hotterin person. Her dark hair is a little damp,creating small translucent circles where the strands meet her white tshirt. Please tell me, I'm not the assholemaking this woman look confused, Pleo. The voice is louder this time andcoming from behind me. Okay, it's definitely not me. CLEOlooks over my shoulder and I follow her gaze to find a tall man in a by celletholding a large Brown paper bag with a receipt stapled to the side. I thinkit's your postmates. I point a thumb over my shoulder. Lucky me, her lips,curled into a coy smile, wholly shit. She skims past me her fingers trailingagainst my arm as she waves the man down. I catch a hint of somethingflowry as she breezes by her shampoo may be. It takes a lot of will power not totake a long hard look at her ass. She takes the bag and thanks the man whonods and jogs through the revolving door. To my surprise, she walks back myway. It's a small opening, but damn, if I'm not going to shoot my shot, did you check she stops a few feet awayfrom me. Her brow arched in a way that causes a stir behind my zipper, the bag.Did you check a slow smile spreads across her face? She closes thedistance between us and holds the bag out for inspection. Why don't you takea look and tell me what you see her eyes are trained on mine, we're nottalking about the food gotto make sure they didn't forget anything. I hold hergaze taking the bag out of her hands hate it. When that happens, I glancedinto the bag and assess its content spying, some time hm well. Clearly, youhave good taste, she nods expectantly, but it looks like you have no one toeat it with her smile widens awfully presumptuous of you to assumeI'm here alone, or that I like to share. Call it wishful thinking. She noded slowly taking some time toweigh her options. I like a woman who is not afraid tomake me sweat. Finally, she says I guess I could makean exception for you. I, like the sound of that. What do yousay we head back to a this guy before I can finish an arm slings heavily aroundmy shoulders, almost knocking the food out of my hands. I save it and turnedto see, or rather smell a severely inebriated tod hanging off me. He stares at Cleo with a smug, sloppysmile. This guy he's a pussy machine. You know that fucking drowning in ityou've got to be fucking. Kidding me CLEO's lip curls in disgust. She letsout a low sigh before I can think of something to say to save the situation.She takes the back from my hands, her eyes narrowed right. Well, you do havea good night. I watch her disappear around the corner, kicking myself fornot reacting sooner, trying to explain but todds droning on about females.These days, you know- and the last thing I want to do is give him anotheropportunity to be near her. I shrug him off and put a glass ofwater in his hands before signaling to the bartender, I'm ready to close out I'm done for the night, but I don'twant Cleo to think I'm following her or anything. Then it hits me the elevator, that's where I've seenher before she was the haughty and pink. I made a pass at on the way to the gym.Clearly she is not here for the conference unless some ce O is enoughof an asshole to drag their kid and nanny along. So what brings an actorNanny Mamosa drinker to Niagara and, more importantly, why do we keeprunning into each other, unlocking my phone? I opened tinderagain still nothing. Just anotheroversaturated picture of a blonde with a snapchat filter come on Cleo, swipe right, let's findout whether it's God or fate that keeps bringing us together or worse. My Self indulgent patternseeking brain just looking for something someone different...

...hookup state of mind, is written byBecka, Morgan and Amelia Jrose, produced by consensual, creating steamyfeminist first romance for riot girls, special thanks to baby money and thedown payments for the use of our theme: Song, O boy streamable on spotify, headsound engineer, John Mc Nel, studio recording by John Mc Neal and SamSilver Moodlighting engineer, mixing by Spiral Ligke, creative and mastering byaiding Avora. This episode was performed by Nadiapelatier, DanielJordan, Bianka Shaw, Druw, Michelle Stephanie Lewis, Alison Grishaw,Herschel, Bat, R, J, Scott Evan Weisman Austin, Santinniello, sophy MalackeyJohn Mc Neil Aaron, MC Nel and Travis Donahou, who that's a cast tune in nextweek to hear Cleo, say: Okay, tender. Take your best shot, I'm not lookingfor Mister Wright, so much as I'm looking for Mer doesn't have any fishor guns in his pictures.

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